ħ2/2mδ2Ψ/δx2 + V(xit)Ψ=iħδΨ/δt
I was sitting in one of my favourite coffee houses: The Village Roastry; In Toronto. Sipping what I like to refer to as liquid hashish. Their espresso is just so damn good. Thinking about planning for the upcoming trip; Thinking about all of the training I was doing; Thinking about how ludicrous it is to be a wannabe alpinist living in the American Midwest. Soon though, the rocket juice was having its desired effect and it was time to have an evening session with some old friends at Joe Rockheads. It was a fine night in the Big Smoke.
We spent most of the spring and summer training; Training hard; Running, riding, and doing these crazy tactical drills in the park. This bit was circuit training at its finest. We managed to rope in some of my son’s friends to train with us, to help ratchet up the motivation and intensity. There is nothing like pitting yourself against some young twenty year olds. Those were good workouts for all of us. After we whipped him into shape young Billy even went on to join the Marines. We also went hiking with heavy packs and boots and mosquitoes. We spent hours in the climbing gym. We wanted to get hard and indestructible. The funny part of all of this was, when we got out west we found out that Billy Backhoe of course had done zero training…zip. He hadn’t run a step in over a year. He walks their dog. Bill the ‘Alpinator’…tough as old boots.
A perfection of means and a confusion of aims seem to be our main problem
– A. Einstein
There is a fine line between badass and dumbass
– J Bridwell
However before we got to the real meat of the trip we decided to have a fun diversion with a day spent at the Squamish Chief.
Surprising, but there weren’t too many cars in the parking lot, but then again it was mid-week and still early. How many times in total KK and I had headed up this steep approach trail was lost to our memory but it was Renee’s first time and she must have been excited. Especially after all of the occasions I have waxed on poetically over it. Interestingly enough, of the many times I have climbed this route this turned out to be the only time I have ever had to wait in line. Holy smokes! There were four parties ahead of us! It was still early and the sun wasn’t over the crest of the summit yet so we were still deep in shadow. It was windy, chilly and there was a fine mist. We could tell that the day would turn out fine, but for the time being the three of us just had to settle in and wait. It was probably close to one and one half hours waiting on that ledge before we got our turn, but fortunately we were last in the queue and there was no one breathing up our kilts so we could take our time.
It was good to be moving finally and get some blood flowing and generate some warmth. I set out over the familiar terrain, yet the skills were rusty and my head space was as cluttered as a physicist’s chalkboard. The opening moves looked like gibberish and seemingly blank slabs saw me getting a bit gripped and sketched out getting to the first pro, but after I got clipped to that first piece everything calmed right down and it was business as usual. It wasn’t really that hard just a bit run out. But after that bit there is a short vertical flake that leads to a crack that climbs like a dream and takes gear like a hobo takes a handout. I took the lead on the first four pitches. I brought the other two up together on one pitch and then separately on the others. I find that the reverso in guide mode performs poorly on slabs like this. The fourth pitch starts from a little alcove where you can build a textbook equalised three piece anchor. The first couple of moves here involve a high step onto a pretty sparse slab that traverses upward. It’s a bit delicate for a few meters but it gets progressively easier; which is a good thing because there is no gear to be had for a ways.
Renee was getting her slab groove on and fittingly got to lead the long pitch with the water grooves. She dispatched it like a pro. KK ran it out on for us the last pitch to the Dance Platform, and that was that. We relaxed a bit and changed into our approach shoes. The climbing was over, the sun was warming us, and we began the hike down through the forest and the maze of house sized boulders eventually ending up on psych ledge, and the short walk back to the car. We beat gums briefly with a couple of dudes who were off to do the same climb we had done and soon after we headed off and celebrated our modest success over pints and sandwiches at the Creek Side pub.
Soundtrack soon to be available on Local Boys Records
Beat it on down the line – The Grateful Dead
Obscured by clouds – Pink Floyd
Doghouse Blues – Seasick Steve
I cover the waterfront – John Lee Hooker