sḵwx̱wú7mesh

(… and hey you kids get off of my lawn)

The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime

– Roger Waters

The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.

– Albert Einstein

It’s been a long time past since I last laced up my rock shoes in good old Squamish. A lot of the days of my youth were spent clamoring around here. It was where I learned the trade. Good memories. Some scary ones too. Could it really have been ten years ago when I was last here? Maybe. Even though I knew that times have changed I probably also wasn’t prepared for exactly how much. It was much like the time travel stories where the intrepid time traveler goes back in time and accidentally kills a butterfly, and upon their return to the present some things are the same and some have changed; and usually not for the good. I suppose that maybe first I should back up a bit, and explain how we got here now, in the present day.

A couple of years back my son and I were going to plan a bouldering trip to Squamish. It would have been our first real climbing trip together, and we were looking forward to it. However… like the rest of the world, Covid had other plans for us all. The following year my summer was booked with an alpine climbing trip and a large and lengthy family vacation. This spring when he came for a visit we renewed our interest in the idea and started making plans. Just after his visit, my nephew visited. Now, my nephew was a wee bit of a climber in his day, but he hadn’t had on a pair of rock boots in a long while. I took him to my local gym one day, and on another to the crag, and bam… just like that, his interest in climbing was rekindled. Next thing you know, he’s got new shoes, a gym membership, an invite, and a plane ticket to Vancouver.

The three of us spent the remainder of the spring and early summer training and planning, and more training. Each of us had our own motivations and aspirations. My son is still an up and coming hot shot, starting to sniff around double digit V-grades. Strong as hell both in the gym and the real stuff. My nephew is getting back into decent form and wanted to make a good showing on some of the problems that he climbed in his dirt bagging heyday at Squamish. Me… I had no delusions. I just wanted to hang with the lads, and not embarrass myself too much. Much of our training was gym-centric, although Doug was able to get on real rock far more often than Caleb or I did. All our training went reasonably well, other than having one of my creaking old fingers get a wee bit of an A2 pulley strain, which unfortunately plagued me for the remainder of the trip. At least I was getting in my excuses early.

The entropy of an isolated system either remains constant or increases with time.
– The Second Law of Thermodynamics

Our trip was going to be made so very much more comfortable, enjoyable and certainly less expensive, because we were able to stay at my best mate kk’s place in Vancouver. Not only that, he graciously gave us use of his van for the whole time we were there. But the best part by far was being able to hang out with him, Dorothy, and some of my other old compadres. I had also purposely arranged to arrive a few days prior to the boys for this reason as well.

Eventually the lads arrived, and the excitement and anticipation was high. Our first climbing day was a Sunday, and the first order of business after much coffee and watching some of the Tour de France was to drive to Squamish and pick up the three rental bouldering pads we had reserved since early spring. In fact, as soon as we picked dates I put the pads on order. Next stop, the Grand Wall parking lot. This was the first real WTF moment… we got the very last parking spot in three lots! Granted it was a weekend, but the place was lousy with tourists, hikers, trail runners, climbers, and of course… pad people like us. Although mid summer is far too warm for the really serious folks to be bouldering, Squamish is still one of the planet’s premier locations for this activity, and the place was chockablock. Still… plenty to go around however. There are over 3,000 named problems in the guidebook. Plus there are some obvious problems that aren’t in the guidebooks. And in addition to that, for those folks that want to explore off the beaten path, and are willing to do some cleaning, there is still much more awaiting development. Not to mention stuff that is going to be next level, next generation difficulty. Carrying on with this line of thought, consider that in the whole world there are only 4 boulder problems rated V17, and some of those are purportedly ready to be downgraded. By comparison there are about 40 rated V16 give or take. One of these, if the grade holds is actually in Squamish. The Megg. Even if the grade falls to V15 or even V14 it shows the vast potential out there. Not that it impacts an old duffer like me that struggles on V1…

The next WTF moment was seeing all of these nicely groomed and fenced trails to many of the premier areas and blocs. Back when I was a lad, there was only a sketchy trail to the base of the Grand Wall, and a few aid shenanigans over by Eleven Bolt Rock, and the caves, where some early hardcore dirtbags used to party and doss. Boulders yes… but no bouldering. Caleb was familiar with the newer scene having spent a bunch of time here, but even that was 15 years ago. It was Doug’s first trip here though.

We all had the same agenda for the day. Just wander around, get the lay of the land, and do easy problems. That plan lasted about a minute, because the next thing you know Doug is on a classic V4 called Sloppy Poppy, which he knocked off in a few tries. But after that we settled back down a bit and did some fine easy problems. My favorite being a lowball lip traverse officially called Any Rock’ll Do, but somehow unofficially called Toucan Sam. Doug also tried Baba Hari Dass; a Chris Sharma problem. By early afternoon we were getting worked and knowing that we had a big week ahead of we wisely headed back to the comfort of kk’s place.

Day two found us back at the Grand Wall. After coffee of course. Being a weekday there were fewer people overall, but the boulderers were still out in numbers. This ended up being a big day for us. We spent it wandering back and forth through the dappled light of the lower tier forest and ended up with sends of Viper, Crack Slabbath, and Titanic by Doug. Whereas Caleb and I racked up a good number fun V0 and V1 problems including Smear Traverse, Made in the Shade and Twister. Doug also made a solid second attempt on Baba Hari Dass sharing turns on it with some French pad hobo from Grenoble. The monsieur was pretty strong and ending up getting it in several goes. Nice guy; he climbed in sandals up the adjacent slab route to brush holds for Doug. Talk about crowds though. Some blocs were swarmed by everyone and their literal dog. I mean… who doesn’t like a good old crag dog ruckus? And talk about young. I felt like asking some of these folks when their moms were coming back to pick them up. We left by early afternoon. After fighting horrible traffic through Vancouver we went out with kk for delicious Dosas.

When I was a child we used to get up every morning and go to the tai ji master and just breath and practice the beginning arm raising. The master would never let us do more than this, for months. If I ask you to do this for even 6 days, you are going to quit and ask for a refund. What kept me going as a child was noticing what was happening. One cold morning, maybe it’s playing with my steaming breath. If it’s early, there’s dew drops on the bamboo leaves. Another morning there’s a frog hopping or birds flying. If you are not observant, then of course you get bored.

 – Chungliang Al Huang 

By day three we had settled into a nice pattern. I would get up really early to go outside and practice Tai-Chi and then on to expertly crafted pour over coffee courtesy of either kk or Caleb, freshly baked bread, and an hour or so of watching the Tour de France. Head up to Squamish. Boulder ourselves silly. Head back to Vancouver to swim in kk’s pool, prepare and eat great food, and enjoy a few adult beverages, and for some… smokey treats. This day at Squamish however we decided to check out some other areas. First off, at my insistence we stopped at Murrin Park so I could try my old standard Cougar Crack. We used to call it the Entrance Exam. Again, going back to the day… I could climb this thing in chucks, mountain boots, barefoot; even blindfolded once. Not to mention, all without any pads. I do unfortunately recall on my last time here I couldn’t get off the ground on it. Come on seriously? It’s a V0. I was chuffed to blue lights that on my second try I was able to get up the damn thing. I tell you… It really made this old guy happy to have done that. After the youths quickly flashed it we skedaddled up to the North Walls. The first order of business being this obscure V7 called Luna. Seriously tough for a 7, and not much progress was made. We soon bailed and went to another area that was very cool. This held problems from V0 all the way up to V14. Doug had his eyes set on a great looking V9 problem called Big Chicken. He worked it with some other climbers for a long while and made good progress. Caleb and I noodled around on our own projects. I really enjoyed trying a problem called Detached Flake, but speaking of big chickens, I was too chicken to top out this highball.

Day four we wisely called as a rest day. Which was just as well, as we had had a bit of a cognac night. Still up early for artisan coffee though, and a full stage of Le Tour. Once the morning wore on a bit Doug went out shopping with kk and Caleb and I went for a 9km run. Yeah… so much for a rest day eh. We had a bunch of old friends over for dinner and a great time was had by all. It might have been this night that Doug and Dorothy had a few puffs that ended up with Dorothy unleashing her inner prankster…or so I’m told…

With that pesky but much needed rest day out of the way we made our way back to the North Walls where for our day five, Doug was able to make some really good attempts on Big Chicken. He got so close, but the final move kept eluding him. Still… almost topping a Squamish V9 is the real deal. Bonus was that the sweater he had left there two days ago was still there; how cool is that! The three of also did a fun little lip traverse called Yak Attack. This whole area known as the Farm, and the aptly named Magic Kingdom had a real mellow and almost mystical vibe to it. It was a very peaceful and ancient place. After this we headed back over to the Grand Wall, where we hooked up with kk after having ridden his bike up there from home to meet us. The remainder of the day was spent doing fun stuff in the Titanic area including Vanilla Meow, and Slab 101.

You see my son, here time changes into space.

– Wagner (Parsifal)

Day six found us further afield, but still in the Grand Wall area. We made the obligatory pilgrimage to Cacodemon Caves, and Dreamcatcher. However that was only in passing to get to classic moderates such as Trad Killer and Heartbreak Hotel up on the second tier. It had been fun all week watching and listening to Caleb getting reacquainted with the whole Squamish area, but today and in this time and space it was special because of a proud redux send of Heartbreak Hotel that he aced with style.

Day seven was unfortunately our last day. We got up there early since it was a Saturday and spent the first bit back in the Titanic area. Three other folks who for obvious reasons wanted to be up there early were the base jumpers we saw launching themselves from the top of the Chief. Pretty cool, not to mention a bit dangerous as there are high tension power lines in the area. Doug had a few things he wanted to try, and he quickly ended up sending Timeless. I contented myself with some repeats of fun stuff I had done earlier in the week, plus a neat V2 traverse, and poor Caleb exploded his biceptuals on American Gigolo. We finished off the day by heading over to see if we could get on the classic and always crowded Superfly. Much to our surprise it was deserted, and Doug dispatched it in a few quick attempts.

We had to go back into town to return the pads, so we decided to drive around a bit and maybe get a coffee and some souvenirs. Holy smokes! Squamish has become a mini-Canmore. Condo’s, Two gear shops (at least), yoga, wellness studios, bistros, bourgeois coffeehouses, good looking hipster outdoor types. They were lined up out the door of a coffeehouse for cryin’ out loud. Not even a parking spot to be found. Gone I guess, are the days of eating on the cheap at the Dairy Queen, the Chinese and Canadian food restaurant, and of brawls with drunken loggers in the Chieftain Hotel.

Nobody can imagine in physical terms the act of reversing the order of time. Time is not reversible.
– Nabokov

At the end of it all, even in spite of the Squamish gentrification, it was a fantastic trip. Hanging with family and friends is the best.

Credits

Climbing Gyms: Boulderz, Movement, The Spot, and Rock Solid

Soundtrack available on Local Boy Records: Tubthumping, Olin Aragreed, Aiko Aiko, American Music, Heartbreak Hotel, Tumbling Dice, Solitude, Dixie Chicken, Free Four, Misirlou, Time, Super Fly, Holiday Road.

Coffee supplied by: Yellow Brick, Matador, Pablo’s, The Library, and J.J. Beans

Adult Beverages: Phillips Brewing, Steamworks, and Studio Brewing

Food Purveyors: Chad Thai, The House of Dosas, and Hooked Fish Bar

Best Saying: “He dropped the mustard spoon on that one”

Spiritual Advisors: Chris Sharma & Juan Valdez

List of problems in no particular order. (*indicates not completed)

One two free four

The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime
You shuffle in the gloom of the sick room
And talk to yourself as you die

Life is a short warm moment
And death is a long cold rest
You get your chance to try
In the twinkling of an eye
Eighty years with luck or even less

So all aboard for the American tour
And maybe you’ll make it to the top
But mind how you go
And I can tell you ‘cos I know
You may find it hard to get off

But you are the angel of death
And I am the dead man’s son
He was buried like a mole in a fox-hole
And everyone’s still on the run

And who is the master of foxhounds?
And who says the hunt has begun?
And who calls the tune in the courtroom?
And who beats the funeral drum?

The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime
You shuffle in the gloom of the sick room
And talk to yourself as you die

– Roger Waters